A counter-story to the rags-to-riches narrative : A Finnish male model wearing hobo style during the deep depression in the age of AIDS

As a former male model whose modelling career lasted 25 years (1988–2013) and as a researcher, I am interested in the production of meanings and knowledge related to representations of masculinity. As a gay former male model who was classified as ‘other’ but represented the normative ideal and passed for straight in fashion shows and photographs, I look back on images of myself differently and against the grain. I analyse three of my fashion photographs – taken for the Finnish tabloid City in 1993, when AIDS was considered the ‘gay plague’, but never published – in terms of critical studies of masculinities, gay and sexuality studies, and queer theory. I speculate and examine gestures, facial expressions and poses in the photographs that were still intolerable and prevented their publication 30 years ago. The publication of my photographs now is concrete proof that masculine gestured performances are becoming more inclusive and diverse.