Putting Listening in Its Place

Abstract

When stressed, we often want someone to listen. People who feel “listened to” or “heard” experience a range of positive outcomes from heightened relational satisfaction to better mental and physical health. But what exactly contributes to a person feeling listened to? Although the role of effective listening in supportive interaction has been recognized for decades, until recently the concrete behaviors that constitute actual listening have remained largely unexplored. Indeed, the term listening is often used as a catch all with little empirical scrutiny as to its conceptual makeup. Unfortunately, it is far easier to find praise of listening as an important component of supportive communication than it is to find clear articulations of just what listening is or details concerning what listeners do. Ultimately, the place of listening at the theoretical table of support research is uncertain. This talk situates listening as the sine qua non of providing, perceiving, and receiving beneficial support. I will explore listening as a key activity engaged by helpers as well as by those seeking help and provide a framework for understanding the role and place of listening in theories of supportive communication.